The Angel Anomaly (Being rewritten)
by Hannamation
Summary: Artemis is minding his own business when a LEP scientist is killed, and he is united with an old friend he doesn't even remember. Now, he has to literally go to hell and back to stop a power crazed Elven Commissioner General from wiping out humans and all other 'inferior' species! It is up to Artemis, plus an absentminded angel, to save the world. Again. Rated T for Swearing, A/OC
1. Veslume

Veslume ran, because she had no choice. She knew that if they caught her, they would not kill her, but she didn't want to be… She wouldn't even think about it. She didn't even know where she would go. Her face was known all over Htrae… of course it was, she was the bloody prin-

She tripped and fell over a stone, and skinned her elbow. "Habreil" she muttered, and a white mist materialized and seemed to heal her wounds. She got up, and stood as tall as she could. She then flexed her hand, and more white mist appeared and solidified into a shimmering white gladiator sword. She brandished it, putting on her most menacing face. Falling had slowed her down enough for the others to catch up to her. The only thing left to do was to fight. The three men ran towards her. They were Eagle Angels. She had her work cut out for her. The first man summoned a net from the white mist, and ran towards her, obviously trying to capture her with it. She jumped to the side, and as the man ran past her, she struck him in the back of the head with the butt of the sword. He fell, clutching his head, and the net dissolved into mist again. The next man summoned a spear, and charged at her, howling. Veslume smiled sweetly at him, and launched herself 10 feet into the air, using her wings to help her land softly on the man's head. She then jumped behind him, stabbed him in the throat, he gurgled, and then fell. The third man quailed, and ran away. Veslume squeezed the sword, and it morphed into a spear, which she threw in the direction of the running man, and it hit its target in the heart. The man fell silently. The spear dissolved. She then ran in the direction she was originally running. She had to get away before the men woke , she spread her huge white speckled wings, and was about to fly away when something grabbed her from behind.

She tried to fight whatever it was off, but there seemed to be multiple beings or things holding her down. They dragged her away down the pathway. It was too dark for Veslume to tell what it was exactly that had her, but she thought that they seemed to be humanoid, if a bit small. They threw her into what appeared to be a huge black mass, a bit like a hole, except that it was upright in the air. Then she landed.

"Welcome to Haven" Said a voice.

Veslume looked up, and saw a man, or a child, she couldn't tell which, looking down at her. She pulled herself off the ground, and flinched as she put her weight on her ankle. She must have sprained it in the fall. The man was wearing a white lab coat, and was carrying a clipboard. He was only about three feet tall, and he had pointy ears. Veslume gave him her scariest look, and said: "Who on Htrae are you?"

"I am Dr. Twigg Mikkles, leader of the wormhole project. You are the first specimen we have managed to collect from the end of the wormhole."

Veslume tried to keep calm. "Well, can I leave now? If I stay much longer, some people will catch up to me, and I really don't-"

"You can't leave just yet. We need to do some tests. Now if you would just extend your arm so we can take some blood, and then you may follow me."

Veslume kept her arm completely still, and looked around her. She noticed that there were more people, most of them without wings, and those with wings had wings like insects. They were all shorter than her, except one, a boy with dark hair who looked about her age. He gave her a strange look, perhaps of pity. She then looked back at the man. He looked back at her and said: "If you refuse to cooperate, we will have to use force." The man grabbed her left arm, and pulled out a syringe.

Veslume's mind raced. What was the man doing? Was he a threat? Her old fighting instructor at the academy had said that the first thing one does when one confronts somebody is to determine whether or not this person was a threat or not. This man was forcing her to do things against her will, so that was one thing that made her think that he was a threat. Also, he was trying to impale her with a very sharp object. She decided he was a threat.

The man held the syringe up to her skin. "Now, this won't hurt a bit."

"No, but this will!" Veslume cried, summoned her sword, and stabbed the man in the gut. He stared at her, shocked, and a trickle of blood flowed out of the corner of his mouth. He dropped the syringe and the clipboard as Veslume pulled the sword out of his belly. He fell forward, so Veslume had to jump out of the way. The crowd of people stood and stared in disbelief at the body, a pool of blood forming around it. Veslume looked at the people, curious. "Well, I understand that it's rude to kill people, but it isn't like he's going to stay dead… or… Oh god. Is this place…?" She turned to jump back into whatever the huge dark hole was, but to her dismay, the hole was gone. She turned around slowly, and felt a sudden pain in her shoulder. She saw a dart sticking into it, and then she fell softly, unconscious.


	2. Artemis

Artemis sighed. _I get to be the first human to witness the opening of a wormhole, and so naturally I have to witness a violent murder as well. Of course, nobody liked Mikkles. He was an unpleasant person to be around…_

He wondered where they had taken the Angel. That was the only thing he could call her, what with the wings. The last time he saw her, some scientists had loaded her onto a stretcher, and wheeled said stretcher through a doorway on the other side of the room. He hope that whatever experiments they did on her didn't hurt her too much.

Artemis felt a tugging on his sleeve, and turned to see Holly Short grinning at him. "Good riddance!"

"Mikkles was a disagreeable pixie."

"I know, right? So are you free on-"

There was a blare on the intercom, interrupting Holly. "Would Artemis Fowl please report Commander Kelp's office immediately?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "Duty calls." He then walked down one of the many halls that lined the walls of the room. _Kelp probably wants to yell at me for being here. I can hear him now, "What the hell is a mudboy doing at this top secret operation. How did you get in here?" He'll then proceed to somehow link Mikkles's death to my being there. _He reached Kelp's office, and as he opened the door he said "Foaly personally invited me, so if you want to yell at someone, his office is down the hall, take a right-"

"That is not what I have called you here to talk about."

"What do you want then?"

"Well, we need somebody to talk to that angel. We are worried that it will react negatively to fairies. If you speak to her, perhaps it will agree for us to do some tests."

"And if she doesn't agree?"

"We do the tests anyway. This is not a, as you mudmen say, a 'humane' project. However, we will do our best to keep the subject calm and compliant. If it is uncomfortable, then we will move it to a more comfortable cell. However, it is violent, we will be forced to euthanize it."

Artemis thought for a moment. "Is there a chance that I will be hurt?"

"Yes."

"I know it seems stupid and foolhardy, but I'm in."

"Great! You start tomorrow."

The next day, he was sitting at a table in a very small cell. At the other end of the table was the Angel.

She was wrapped in a straightjacket, and her wings were bound in iron chains. She had very long brown hair, and grey eyes that shone like silver. Her ears were slightly pointed. She looked at him sadly, as if she knew him. When Artemis thought about it, she did look familiar, like something that was at the tip of his tongue, but he just couldn't pinpoint what he knew about her.

"Do you remember me, Artemis?"

Artemis recoiled, shocked. How did this total stranger know his name? He then noted that the girl spoke with a slight Norwegian accent. "No, I don't remember you. How do you know my name?"

"Of course you wouldn't remember me. You lost all your memories. Also, you _were_ dead at the time, so you wouldn't know me."

"First of all, my memories have been restored, but I don't remember anything from when I was dead."

She sighed. "Of course not." She then smiled. "Let's get started on restoring your memories. My name is Veslume Gullkrone. I am 1,578 and a half years old. My favorite color is light blue. Your name is Artemis Fowl. You are 16 years old and… 15 days now. Also, you never answered when I asked you what your favorite color was, and proceeded to be antisocial for the rest of the day. You were still shaken up about being dead at the time, so I don't blame you for not answering, but still, it _was_ rather rude. Especially after all that trouble I'd gone through to make you feel at home. You thought I was annoying. I mean, I _am_ annoying, but you said it to my face. You did apologize a month later. At least, I think it was a month later. Time doesn't work the same on Htrae.

Artemis interrupted. "What is Htrae?"

"Htrae is home. I don't know where I am now, but Htrae is where I am from. It is beautiful there! The mountains are as tall as the sky! They literally touch the sky!" She paused, and then looked at Artemis, straight in the eye. "Am I on Earth?"

Artemis nodded. "Yes."

Veslume sank back, astonished. "Earth. I never thought I'd actually see it. Bit of a disappointment, actually."

"I am so sorry."

There was a silence.

"Do you want something to eat or…"

"How am I going to eat it?" She wiggled her arms in the straightjacket.

"Oh dear. Sorry."

"It's fine."

"So… What is it like, on Htrae?"

"You've been there, silly!"

"I don't remember being there." Grumbled Artemis.

"Ok, fine" She giggled, and then began. "It is rumored that on Earth, the sky is endless, and one can fly as high as one wants without hitting any barrier. On Htrae, that is not the case. One can fly approximately eleven miles into the sky, and then one hits an invisible barrier, like glass. There is nothing beyond it, nothing but blackness. It is also rumored that the sky on Earth is blue. Ours is black, and the only light is from a red dying sun. Many angels have tried to reach that sun, but they are stopped by the barrier."

"Is Htrae round?"

"Yes. It is full of wide oceans and there are 7 continents, there is Europe, and Asia, and North America…"

"Wait, your world is exactly like earth. That means… you must live in an alternate universe."

"You got it spot on! Much quicker than the last time!"

"Ok, so, what part of Htrae are _you_ from?"

"Norway."

"I thought so. Is your Norway cold and covered in Fjords?"

"Yep! I don't live there anymore. They made me move to the main confederacy of Angels in Connecticut."

"Why did they make you move?"

"I'm the Crown princess."

"Oh." There was another silence. "So, did you run away? According to the coordinates, you were in New York when you were captured. And why do all these places have the same names as they do in my world?"

"The souls of people who died told us the names of the places. They are filtered into our dimension."

"I see. So that's how you know me. I wish that I could remember."

"You will."

"Anyway, could you tell me about the angels?"

"Sure! So Angels often have different wings. My wings are those of a snowy owl. My friend Nymra has hummingbird wings."

"Ok, so how did you do that thing with the sword when you killed Mikkles?"

"Now first of all, I didn't know that he was going to stay dead. Also, just because I killed someone in cold blood does not mean that I am a psychopath. Don't think I don't know what the guards are saying."

"Yes, I am sorry that people think you are a psychopath. I just want to know whether the sword thing was magic or not."

"It was magic. The Magic is called the Toke. It is a natural energy found all around us. The angels just figured out how to control it."

Artemis thought for a moment. "This is the last question. Why are souls filtered into your dimension?"

Veslume looked bitter. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I want to know!"

"That is what you said last time you asked. Besides, I already told you. You just have to remember."

"I can't remember."

There was another silence. This one lasted all of five minutes. It was Veslume who broke it.

"Thank you. Thank you for speaking to me. Thank you for listening. And thank you for being the nicest person I've met all day."

Artemis left the cell.


	3. Chix

"D'Arvit, D'Arvit, D'Arvit!" Screamed Chix Verbil. He had somehow dropped his neutrino on his foot, and to add to the pain, the neutrino had gone off, leaving a scorch mark on the wall behind it. Chix grumbled to himself. Ever since the Tamerlane "Incident" he had been downgraded from captain to private. That troll had been asking for it, but the weirdoes at "Troll Rights" had already made it illegal to kill trolls. That made as much sense as a screen door on a battleship, but he didn't give a flying flip. The tusked assailant had been trying to gore his precious Captain Short, and he was having none of that. While technically he and Holly were not "together" as it were, he decided that maybe if he _acted_ as if they were, maybe she would just go along with it. What was there to lose? His limbs maybe. It was obvious that Holly only had eyes for Fowl, and clearly that was one sided. Chix seemed to be the only one able to see that a relationship between Holly Short and Artemis Fowl II was pretty much illegal, and it was clear, that if anyone had realized this fact, they didn't care. Also, if there WAS a relationship going on between Fowl and Short, as the tabloids had often debated, chances were that Fowl was unaware of it. Poor socially inept kid. He was brilliant, but oblivious.

Chix remained leaning against the wall next to the door. Behind that door was held what was apparently the most dangerous thing that the Fairies had ever dealt with. Supposedly, this thing had the ability to summon weapons out of thin air, fly, kill with words, breath fire, and shoot laser beams out of its behind (though those last ones may have been Foaly's sarcasm.) And the odd thing was that while Chix was the fifth person tasked with guarding whatever this psychopath was, he had never actually seen it! It seemed odd. There was a small Plexiglas window on steel door of the cell, but a piece of paper had been taped over it, and Chix had been specifically instructed not to look at whatever was in there. Naturally, since Chix Verbil was the kind of sprite who would microwave an egg specifically because he was told not to, he peeled the tape off of the door, lifted up the paper, and peered inside.

What he saw made no sense to him at all.

Inside the room, confined in a straightjacket and tied to a chair, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Her pale skin was flawless. Her long light brown hair was elegantly draped around her shoulders. Her large eyes with long lashes shone silver, and her mouth and nose were perfectly proportioned to the rest of her face. She stared blankly at the table in front of her, tears sliding down her face. She then looked up, noticing Chix looking at her through the window. She rolled her eyes, and looked back down. "You most certainly aren't the first person to do that. Every guard posted here has had the gall to look at me, and then they are caught by the Hawk, and I never see them again. In fact, I think she is right behind you."

Chix turned around very slowly, and saw what he really, really didn't want to see.

Ona Hawk was staring at him. Staring… no. She was mentally boring a hole through his brain.

Ona Hawk was the Commissioner General of the LEP.

Commissioner General Hawk was the most feared elf who had ever lived. She was tall for an elf, at four feet six inches exactly, tall enough to pass as a human. She was middle aged, but if anyone made her aware of this fact, that person would live to regret it, landing a bed in the Haven hospital as well. Her black hair was cropped to above her ears, and her beetle black eyes glinted. She snarled at Chix.

"What the HELL do you think you are doing, _sprite." _She spit out the species name like it was poisonous. "All you scum think you can _just take a look." _She mocked cruelly. "You were specifically told not to _just take a look_. You do know what disobeying orders means, Verbil.

"Yes sir!" Chix Blurted.

"_What_ did you just call me?"

Chix blanched. "Err… Ma'am… I said 'Yes Ma'am'"

"Don't lie to me, _Sprite_."

"I- I- It was a mistake… I- I swear… I just… I'm used to answering… Oh gods…"

"You are most definitely FIRED. Pack your bags."

"B-But…"

"No buts. Now, if you don't get your cowardly ass and filthy possessions out of this facility by this time tomorrow, I swear by my mother's decomposing remains that there will be nothing left of you but a green smear on the linoleum floor. Is that understood?"

"Ma'am Yes Ma'am."

And with that, Commissioner General Hawk stalked away, sneering.

Chix backed away, gasping. "I-I need this j-job… My parents are going to kill me… I'll have to move in with them again… I can't, they have, like, forty cats… Oh gods…"

"Well, they can't fire you again… So… could you help me escape? This place is absolutely dreadful. This room wasn't built for anybody over the height of 3 feet, the dust is making my nose itch, this straightjacket is uncomfortable, and there is a massive spider in the corner. I have already named him Earnest. Say Hello, Earnest. Oh, no. Earnest isn't moving."

"I think your pet spider is dead, Miss. Do you have a name?"

"Veslume Gullkrone. Gullkrone translates directly to gold crown. I am not very proud of it."

"What, are you royalty?"

"Yes. I am a princess. Unwillingly."

"Right. Can I call you Vessie?"

"No, you may not.'

"Alright, Vessie. How do you expect to escape, exactly?"

"I already can escape." Replied Vessie (As she now will be known.) I've always been able to escape, I was just waiting for the right moment. Tonight just happens to be the right moment."

"What makes it the right moment?"

"There is no moon tonight, so the LEP will not see our silhouettes on the horizon."

Chix was incredulous. "What, are you going to just fly away? That's impossible. Your wings… They'll see your wings, white against the sky."

"I won't be doing the flying. The giant blade-bug will be doing the flying for us."

"Blade-Bug? You're crazy. What the hell is a blade-bug?"

"One of those… those funny things with the circling knives on top… they go around and around… and then the bug flies! I think it works using lift and drag and all that physics. I never liked physics."

"You mean a helicopter? Don't be dumb. Helicopters are not in use anymore! They were all discharged after… After something about fuel efficiency or… something."

"That isn't what the Hawk thinks." Said Vessie. "She said that she was sending one out for a regular… scouting mission? I don't remember. She said that the Heli-thing will be flying over Dublin, tonight. And there is somebody in Dublin that I would very much like to see.


	4. Broken Windows

**/Sorry for not updating in a while. My computer crashed, and then I got distracted by tumblr. There is a big AU in this chapter. /**

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It was amazing how quickly the Tech Crash had been resolved. **((aaand there's the AU))**Basically, everyone had just… woken up… and all the technology was there again. People's computers and cars and plumbing had just… reappeared. It was impossible, Artemis knew that it was impossible, so naturally, he had to find out why it had happened. It was the morning that the computers had turned back on that he had received the first email.

_Dear Artemis Fowl II,_

_ I know what you did. The tech crash was not your fault. All your fault that it wasn't. All your fault. You have to resolve it. I spent 9 years of my life fixing the tech crash. Tech Crash. Now you have to have to make up for it. All your fault._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Lazulai_

All of the Emails had been like this. Cryptic, repetitive, and always from Lazulai. Whoever, or whatever Lazulai was, they knew a great deal about what had really happened before Artemis had died. They also appeared to have been responsible for resolving the tech crash. And Artemis swore to himself that he would find Lazulai.

It was 12:00 exactly when Vessie made her wings disappear, the chains that bound them clattered and clanked as they fell to the ground. She then stood up, and the same mist that she had used to kill Mikkles swirled around her. Chix gasped as the straightjacket fell to the floor, shredded. Vessie then used the mist to make key, which she slid under the cell door to Chix. "Here, this should unlock the door. Just don't hold it too tightly, or it will dissolve into mist again." Vessie heard a scuffling from behind the door, and then the door swung open, Chix standing on the other side. She looked down at him, and realized with a start that he had wings. "You have wings! Do you like flying?"

"I can't anymore. See?" He lifted up his wing, and showed Vessie the scar. "I can't fly. According to my chiropractor, it is really bad for me. What… Are you crying?"

"It's so sad that you can't fly. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't fly." Sniffed Vessie. "I think that I could heal your wing, when we get to where we're going, b-but still… so sad."

"All the magic in the world couldn't heal my wing." Sighed Chix.

"Oh, you have no idea what Angel magic is capable of." Grinned Vessie, suddenly cheerful. "Well, come on then, let's go, we have a top security facility to escape from!"

"Won't they see us on the security cameras?"

"Yes, but they won't find us. By the time that the surveillance man wakes up, we will be long gone. Now, we have to… RUN!"

They ran for about 3 minutes until they reached the heli-pad. The heli-pad was huge, and there was already a Helicopter hovering several feet above it, gusts of air radiating from the blades. "Quick, we need to climb on to the… skid thingies!" Yelled Vessie. Chix bolted forward, and with a flying leap, landed on one of the skids of the helicopter. Vessie ran towards him, and he grabbed her hand, and pulled her up.

"Are you sure that we won't get caught? There is some surveillance over there, see?" Said Chix. He pointed at a building with a huge window. There were fairies running around in that window, clearly unable to pull themselves together and alert the pilot of the situation. Vessie, precariously perched on the skid of the helicopter, slashed at a loose wire hanging out of the belly of the chopper with a knife that she had created with the mist.

"I just disabled the communication device for the blade-bug. The pilot will never know that we're even here!"

"How do you know that you disabled the com system?" Screamed Chix over the pulsating noise of the copter.

"There's a little label on the wire!"

"Ok then!"

They were 10 feet in the air.

30 feet.

50 feet.

They were at 500 feet in the air when the Helicopter stopped elevating, and began to move forward, south, towards Dublin. It was at that point that Vessie started to laugh, an ecstatic, hysteric laugh, laughter so hard that she appeared to be at risk of falling off of the helicopter. "Careful now!" Shouted Chix. "If you fall off, then you'll be dead, and I'll be in more trouble than before!"

"I won't die! I can make my wings reappear! Now, are we over Dublin yet?"

"No, that's in another 40 miles!"

"DRITT! I don't like waiting!" Vessie continued to laugh, hysterical, feverish laughter. "I just love flying so much, especially when I don't have to do the work! This is amazing! I-I think I could stay up here forever, if I didn't want to get where we're going so much!"

"Where _are_ we going?" Yelled Chix, holding on for dear life.

"DUBLIN!" Hollered Vessie, also holding on for dear life.

"WHERE in Dublin?" Screamed Chix.

"Wherever Artemis lives! I need to see him!"

"Artemis Fowl?"

"Yes! He needs to help me hide somewhere!"

"What makes you think that antisocial egomaniac will help you?"

"Because he's my best friend!"

"Really? How did you meet?"

"Well, he had just been killed by Opal Koboi- Oh look! We're here!"

Vessie looked down and saw Fowl Manor, a shadow in the starlight.

"What do we do now?" Shouted Chix. "Jump?"

"OF COURSE WE JUMP!" Screamed Vessie, and she jumped. Chix, leaning down to look at her fall, lost his balance and plummeted towards the earth.

It was at that point that Vessie's wings reappeared in an explosion of feathers, and she caught Chix before he hit the ground. Of course, once she was five feet off the ground, she dropped him, and he slammed into the ground with a resounding thud. "AAAURGH! WHAT THE HELL!" He screamed.

Artemis was the only one awake in the house that night. He was working on his latest obsession, finding Lazulai. The only thing that came up on google was '_did you mean __Lazuli__?' _Naturally, this was discouraging, so Artemis was about to delve into the deep web when he heard the yelling.

Well, naturally, any sane human being who had just heard swearing coming from their backyard would be compelled to see what said yelling was all about. So, of course, Artemis ran to his back window, and saw what appeared to be a large bird flying towards his window. Four thoughts ran through Artemis's head as he watched the bird. The first was; _That is a very large bird. _The second was;_ That very large bird is headed straight for my window. _The third was; _Wait a minute, that isn't a bird! _And the fourth was; _Maybe I should open the window and let it in. _Artemis tried to pull his window open, but he was too late, and the thing that wasn't a bird crashed headlong into the glass, shattering it.

The thing that wasn't a bird, which had hit the wall past the window with a loud _whump_ and collapsed on the ground, slowly got herself to her feet, walked up to Artemis, looked him straight in the eye, and said "I'm hungry! Do you have any peanut-butter?"

"Peanut-butter? What? I'm guessing that you just broke out of a LEP high security facility, not to mention my window, and you ask for peanut-butter?"

"Yep! I sure am good at making an entrance, aren't I? Also, my funny green friend is down there. I think I may have accidentally broken his ankle, and he is clean out of magic from fixing his back, ribs, and skull, which I may have also accidentally broken."

"Oh, my god, Oh my god, you have to leave, now."

"What? You won't help me? B-but… I- we- we're best friends! Don't you remember that?"

"I don't remember anything! And be quiet, you'll wake the whole house up!"

"Ok, fine. Where's some peanut-butter?"

"GET OUT!" Yelled Artemis.

"Be quiet, Artemis, you'll wake the whole house up!"

There was a silence.

"I just proved my own point, didn't I." Muttered Artemis, his hand over his eyes.

"Yep! Can I stay? Pleeeeeeaaaaaassse?" Her face was close to Artemis's; their noses almost touched.

"FINE. The kitchen is downstairs, take a left, it's at the end of the hall. Try not to make any noise."

Vessie drifted through the door.

And then Artemis heard the sound of a hyperactive, irritating, absolutely fascinating angel falling down the stairs.

"AAAAAAUUUUUGH!" Yelled Vessie as she fell down the stairs.

"AAAAAAUUUUUGH!" Yelled the twins as the sound Vessie falling down the stairs woke them up. They sat up in their beds, and simultaneously started running down the hall, past Artemis's room, and fell down the stairs themselves, just missing Vessie on their way down. However, they were much luckier than Vessie.

Artemis ran to the staircase, and peered down the steps, bracing himself for the worst.

As he heard the footsteps of his parents and Butler running from the floor above, he looked down upon a figure, lying on the floor, her head twisted at an odd angle.

Even from 20 feet away, he could tell that she was dead.


	5. SORRY SORRY SORRY

OMG OMG OMG SORRY SORRY SORRY!

How long has it been since I last updated this thing… a year? Gosh. I just… wow. Anyway, I was reading through the old chapters and I realized that I REALLY need to improve some stuff. Like REALLY. So, I have made the decision to rewrite the story. Yep. So yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, you can expect the new story… I dunno… soon-ish. Yeah, soon-ish works.

One of the reasons that I decided to rewrite the story is that, first of all, I wrote Artemis WAY out of character, as one of my commenters pointed out. Then I noticed a huge plot hole, and stuff sort of spiraled from there.

So… yeah. A semi acceptable explanation. Right. Time to get writing.

Shit. This is gonna take some time.


End file.
